Valleys of Neptune

today

i binge ate like a wooly mammoth. i feel like an elephant. i look like a dinosaur. i ate enough to satisfy the hunger needs of large, third-world country. 

today

was horrible.

i worked out for about fifteen minutes. it was such a half-ass attempt, i don’t even want to say that i actually worked out. i ate eggs with cheese, waffles, a goat cheese and vegetable sandwich, pretzels, pineapple, grapes, nutella, peanut butter, peanut butter sandwich crackers, chocolate, cashews, bread, asparagus, a chocolate cupcake with buttercream frosting, tomato, egg salad, pita chips, and i’m sure there’s more. 

classic binge. i couldn’t stop. 

this is what i do. i starve and then i binge. i’m scared because i’ve been binging a lot lately. i’ve gained pounds, and i feel heavier. 

i’m hoping for a light week.

monday will consist of:

1. a seventy calorie, raspberry yogurt

2. a one-hundred and eighty calorie luna protein bar (cookie dough flavored)

3. one hundred calories of edamame 

throughout monday, i’ll drink green tea. i’ll be happy and light and lovely. 

i’m starting this in lieu of therapy because i have a problem that i refuse to resolve. i don’t know what’s wrong with me. i don’t feel like sticking labels on the different fucked up facets of my brain. let’s just say that i’m unhealthy. anyway, i’m using this as a forum to say what i please, when i please about whatever i please. 

…and it is very, very, very, very hard to focus